This morning as part of my morning practice, I pulled an oracle card with the message “Embrace the in-between”. That card is so relevant as I am in the midst of yet another transition. As of September 26, I am handing over the reins of a national member-based non-profit I founded on December 7, 2020. It has truly been a labor of love.
Within the last six months I received a strong message that I was done. I shared with my Board in early May at our monthly meeting that as of the end of September I was finished leading the organization. We brainstormed some names of capable women to take over and also decided that a Co-Chair model was a good way to move forward. It also embodies the quality of collaboration which is one of the feminine leadership qualities we speak and teach about at Female Wave of Change’s Women Leading in Change Program and in our programming and monthly gatherings of Female Wave of Change Canada.
I’m happy to report that two extremely capable and gifted women came forward and agreed to take over the leadership. I was over-joyed as I poured a lot of my heart and energy into growing the organization and didn’t want to have to close it down.
Having been through many personal and professional transitions in my life and having coached, written about, and facilitated workshops and retreats on navigating life transitions, I am still learning. The biggest lesson for me right now is learning to embrace the “in-between”; the phase between where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing and the future business, career, life of my dreams.
There is a tendency to rush through this phase as it is filled with uncertainty and often feels uncomfortable. Yet this is the phase where you have the opportunity to create your new reality. How can we embrace the “in-between” in a way that will support us in moving toward that new life, career or business?
Here are a few insights from my own journey:
- Embracing change is an inside job.
- Identify what you need to let go of in your life, career, business, or relationship you are transitioning from. If it was a well-paying position, I invite you to let go of the status, the financial security, and the identity associated with that position. Here are some strategies to support you in “letting go” – https://pamela-thompson.com/letting-go-its-easier-said-than-done/
- The next step is to identify the lessons learned. A helpful exercise is to write down what you do not want; for example, in a future position such as: working 50 plus hours a week on a regular basis, working without a team to support you … then flip these and write down what you do want.
- Focus on how you want to feel in that new position, relationship, life … . Try using the stem I choose the end result (from William Whitecloud’s work) of a life of freedom and adventure; one where I awaken each day with a smile on my face and a song in my heart so happy and grateful to be living a life of joy, connection, fulfillment, prosperity, and abundance.
- Journaling as part of your morning practice is helpful, without any expectation. Set an alarm for 15 minutes and put pen to paper and notice what you notice. I’ve found by doing this it opens up my creativity. An excellent resource is Cynthia Gregory’s Journaling as Sacred Practice: An Act of Extreme Bravery.
- Spend time in nature on a regular basis. Having daily walks by the ocean or to a nearby park is so therapeutic. Notice the beauty that surrounds you. Take a few moments to sit on a park bench and look up at the amazing trees. Nature is calming and grounds us. It helps us to slow down and to not think so much.
- Get clear on your passions is helpful in this “in-between” phase. A useful exercise is:
My unique Strengths and Talents
- Draw a chart with two columns. In the first column, write down all the things that you are good at, or things that come easily and naturally to you. They could be things such as athletics, mathematics, writing, whatever you feel fits.
- In the second column, write down the things you enjoy doing. They could include being in nature, teaching others, using your body, playing piano….
If you feel challenged by this, think back to what you enjoyed doing as a child.
Insights and Observations on My unique Strengths and Talents
- Now look at both lists and circle the items that are similar or identical. Then review the circled items. Go inside and get in touch with the feeling each one evokes inside you. Does it excite you? Does it have little or no effect on you?
- Rate each item on a scale from 1 to 10 according to the level of passion you have around it (1 being “no interest at all” and 10 being “red hot”).
I encourage you to finish this exercise. Sharing your findings with others has additional impact as you may gain insights and support from them.
Keep in mind that even though you are good at something it doesn’t mean that you are passionate about it.
- I urge you to not rush in this phase or listen to others and what they say you should be doing. Practice going inside and asking yourself, what do I really desire?
There is so much to be learned from the “in-between” phase of a transition.
I welcome your shares below based on what you have found helpful to embrace the “in-between” when you are in a personal or professional transition. It is valuable to learn from one another and to realize we are not alone.
 Card from Colleen Baron-Reid’s Spirit Animal oracle deck
 excerpted from pages 108 & 109 of “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women”
In the northern hemisphere where I live, spring is a time of reawakening and rebirth. After a long cold winter where the flowers are deep in the ground and the bears are hibernating, spring encourages us to pause, reflect and reawaken to new possibilities. It is a time when buds start to appear on trees, and beautiful daffodils and tulips burst forth to remind us to notice the beauty in our lives and to celebrate new beginnings.
What new beginnings are you celebrating? What new project do you feel brewing within and how are you wanting to share it with the world? Is it a new book, a new offering, a new partnership? How does it make you feel? Get in touch with those feelings and express them in your own way. That could be putting on your best tunes and dancing in your living room, going out for a walk by the ocean or in a nearby park. It could be painting, drawing, or journalling about what’s in your heart. It could be meeting a friend for lunch or a beverage and sharing the new project or partnership you’re excited about.
When you reawaken to new possibilities, how do you feel? You may be noticing you are low energy, and you need to take some time to refill your tank after a long, cold winter. You may be feeling something like a small shoot starting to grow within your heart that you’re not yet ready to share as it is still growing and taking shape.
I encourage you to take some time for you. Go for a walk in nature and notice the beauty that surrounds you. Listen to the birds and notice various signs of spring. Identify five things you are grateful for and really feel that gratefulness in your body. Another activity that is therapeutic and helpful to do at this time of year is to cull – go through your closet and identify clothes that no longer fit or suit your style. Donate these clothes to a charity you care about. If you’re a paper person like me, go through your filing cabinet and shred or burn documents you no longer need.
Perhaps imagine yourself as one of the spring flowers you most appreciate. For me that is the daffodils who remind me of fun, playfulness, and dancing with life.
How are you choosing to dance with life and reawaken to the new possibilities and magic of spring? I welcome your thoughts and comments below.
I’ve witnessed the havoc resisting change can wreak on our bodies, our minds, our relationships, our organizations, and our bottom lines. What if instead we learned to embrace change and view it as an opportunity, as a creative process that opens us up to new possibilities. That is the belief on which the “Art of Change Framework” is based. It is aimed at turning change on its head. How do we do that?
The 5-step “Art of Change Framework” guides you through a process where you explore how you typically respond to change and why, identify what you need to let go of in relation to a change to move forward, envision that new life, business, relationship, work of your dreams and create an action plan to move from where you are to where you want to be. It is based on my own work with clients from around the world, my own journey, and is underpinned by evidence from neuroscience, eastern psychology, the health-promoting and healing benefits of the arts and organizational development. It can be used for both personal and professional change, for individuals, and also leaders and their teams.
I invite you to rate yourself on a scale from one to ten in terms of how you typically respond to change and why (one being “scares me to death” and ten being “I thrive on it”). Now rate yourself on the same scale in terms of how you typically respond to a change that is imposed on you; one that you have no control over. Are your ratings different? This can also be used with leaders and their teams about to embark on a change process or in the middle of one. Have each team member openly share their number (understanding that higher numbers are not better, they just are where a person is at), and then invite them to share how best they can be supported through the change.
If interested to learn more, you may access the “Art of Change Framework” here: https://pamela-thompson.com. If you would like to explore how you or your team may apply the framework to personal or professional change, I invite you to book a discovery call with me by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org with Discovery Call in the Subject Line.
You may be at a point in your life where you’re feeling so done about having a “real” job.
You may realize you no longer are “juiced” by what you do, or perhaps you never were. Maybe you’ve been taking positions that don’t make your soul sing for the pay and the status.
Perhaps you have a position you enjoy but are working much harder and longer hours than you are being paid for and you’re starting to resent it.
I understand. I’ve been there. I can still remember when I made the decision to leave my well-paying government job with benefits to join a management consulting company on a handshake.
In the early 1990s, I attended a course on “Project Management in a Government Environment” where I ended up facilitating a small group and presenting the findings from our group. After the session, the trainer, who was a partner in a management consulting group, asked where I had learned to facilitate. I said, “I just do it”; I’m trained in therapeutic groups, and I used to do group and family therapy. He replied, “We need to talk.”
Six months later I was in the HR department of the government ministry I had been working for signing my resignation documents. At that time, I was informed I would lose the 3.5 years of contributions the government had made toward my pension plan if I left before the four-year mark. I thought for a moment about this and then realized I wanted to move forward. I was excited about trying something new and getting well paid to do it.
My Dad wondered why I would give up a good position and financial security without a contract. I knew in my heart and gut that this opportunity was the “carrot” I needed to become a consultant. Within six months of joining the consulting group, the partner who had brought me in had a philosophical split with the other two partners and started his own company. He asked me to join him, but I didn’t want to take sides. I started my own business, and the rest is history. Within two years I was making six figures and so enjoying working with my own clients. Since that time, I have launched four consulting and coaching businesses, have learned so much and been paid well. That said I needed the opportunity to work for another consulting group before I took the leap to strike out on my own.
I’m sharing this story and not recommending that you take the leap to start your own business if you feel undervalued, overworked, and perhaps underpaid, before taking into consideration some critical factors.
It is important to have some finances built up before you launch your own business. Contacts in the area you are planning to work in are important. I had co-chaired a national strategy for the federal government that had multiple partners. A number of them hired me as a facilitator and qualitative researcher to do studies for their organizations when I left my position, because they knew and trusted me. If you think you have consulting skills to offer it is helpful to join another consulting group to “learn the ropes”.
What about you? Are you thinking about “taking the leap” and striking out on your own? Perhaps you’ve done it and have some valuable lessons to share. I welcome your thoughts in the comments below.
During the pandemic many of us had the opportunity to reflect on our lives and our work. Many realized their work was not meaningful. The loss of some family and friends put us in touch with our own mortality. Many of us realized the importance of “seizing the day” and living in the present moment. You may have decided to start that new business you’d been thinking about for a few years or leave the partner you’ve been with as you realized you were settling. In order to move forward as result of such reflections we need to reinvent ourselves.
What do I mean by “reinvention”? To me, reinvention involves letting go of beliefs, behaviors and fears that are no longer serving us and opening to new possibilities such as living the life of your dreams, starting that business of your dreams, and having the relationship of your dreams.
Based on my own journey and work as a consultant and coach over the past three decades I have discovered that reinventing yourself requires four key ingredients or elements:
- Mindset – Having what Carol Dweck calls a “growth mindset”; believing that you have the capacity to reinvent yourself is key. Being flexible and optimistic are also valuable qualities.
- Support – Having support from family and friends is important.
- Tools and Processes – To help you understand how you respond to change and why, and how to embrace rather than resist change (e.g., my 5-step “Art of Change Framework”)
- Self-care – Having healthy habits such as eating well, exercising regularly, getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night, spending time in nature help to reduce stress and in turn boost resilience.
How do you develop a “growth mindset” if you’ve noticed that you tend to dwell on challenges and tend to be pessimistic and a bit rigid in stressful situations (which is common for us all)?
Stay tuned for future posts. I’d love to hear some strategies you’ve found helpful to overcome challenges and be more open and optimistic when faced with the opportunity to reinvent yourself. I welcome your thoughts and comments below.
What if you could reinvent yourself and live the life of your dreams?
What if you could leave your corporate job and start a business based on what makes your soul sing?
About six months ago I started hearing people use the words “I want to reinvent myself” or “I have reinvented myself.” I got curious and did some research on “reinvention”. I also reflected on my own life and realized how many times I have reinvented myself.
I’d like to share a true story of someone I know who reinvented themselves. Their name has been changed for confidentiality.
I met Donna at a Newcomer’s Club shortly after I moved to Victoria about five years ago. Donna shared that she had moved to Victoria with her husband and within six months of arriving, her husband, the love of her life, died of cancer. She realized she was dealing with a number of life transitions and signed up and attended a one-day retreat I did on “Embracing Life Transitions”. She left with more insight into how she responds to change and why, including a 5-step “Art of Change Framework”, and an action plan for moving forward.
Recently Donna shared with me that she is no longer the woman she was when her husband Ben died. She revealed that he was an extreme extrovert and she lived life “on his coat tails”. She reflected that when she got married, she was quiet and lacking in confidence; and that her confidence built being with Ben, and she counted on him for support.
Since Ben’s death, Donna began to work on herself and getting in shape. She acknowledged that over the past few years, she has felt like a single woman who is finding her new self. When she meets new people, she is Donna only, and that has impacted who she is and how she acts.
Donna and Ben sailed for more than thirty years. Ben was the captain. Donna assisted as crew. Since Ben’s death Donna decided she wanted to learn to be captain, and after a number of sailing courses she now not only captains her boat but participates in local races.
Recently, Donna revealed to me that she is no longer the woman she was when Ben was alive. She has reinvented herself and is now “Lady D”. She even christened her sailboat “Lady D”!
How did Donna reinvent herself and what does it take to let go of fear and reinvent yourself?
Stay tuned for the next installment!
Do you relate to Donna? Have you reinvented yourself? What is the biggest lesson you learned from doing so? I welcome your thoughts and comments below.