My Mom was an amazing woman. Sadly she died too young at 62, after living with metastases from breast cancer from age 54. When she passed, I consciously looked at myself, and my life, and realized that I did not want to die young. I reflected on some of the ways I lived my life and decided to take better care of myself; instead of give, give, giving as my dear mother did, to start setting better boundaries. Gabor Mate in his book When the Body Says No cites powerful evidence regarding “cancer personalities”. He shares how many of his clients who die of cancer give to everyone else and tend to put themselves at the bottom of the list; and rarely if ever show anger.
My Mom was one of these people. She never had a negative word to say about anyone. She was the first one to be at someone’s home with a casserole when a friend or relative passed or got sick. She was creative; a poet and writer, and she did many crafts. She was warm, kind and thoughtful.
Thank you Mom for all I learned from you. You were so patient. You encouraged my creativity. You trusted me and let me find my way, even though I was quite adventurous and from a young age loved to climb on play structures and hang upside down on swing sets. You supported me when I backpacked Europe by myself even though I’m sure you had some concerns about it. Thanks for always being there! I appreciate when you advised me to start coming home earlier at night in my teens as Dad was getting upset. Thanks Mom for all the songs you taught me. Now with my own grandchildren, many of those songs “are coming back to me”. I love singing them to my four grandchildren under three. Who knew! … Thanks Mom for loving me unconditionally.
Mother’s Day is coming up soon. It’s an opportunity to tell your Mother how much you care about and value her. Whether she’s still alive or has already passed, I encourage you to write an open letter to your Mom.
I invite you to share your reflections and comments below. Feel free to share this post with others.
December is a great month to reflect on your achievements from the current year and to set intentions for the coming year. According to William Bridges (based on 30 years of research), in order to move successfully from one life transition to another, it is important to let go of any negative emotions associated with it, to celebrate the positive aspects and lessons learned from it… and to get clear on your vision for a new relationship, career, business … . The end of a year may be considered the ending of a transition and the start of a new year, a new beginning.
A process that I’ve found to be extremely useful for myself, and my clients is to answer the following questions and journal about them at the end of a year and before starting a new one.
What are the achievements I am most proud of in 2017?
What am I most grateful for this year?
What lessons have I learned regarding relationships, work experience, my own blind spots … over the past year?
What are my intentions for 2018 (in five areas)?
- Personal life – i.e. What my personal life looks and feels like. Note that it is important to write your intentions in the present tense as if you have already accomplished them. For example; “I am strongly connected to myself, my gifts, my fears, my strengths. I courageously uncover any and all fears, doubts and limiting beliefs that are holding me back from standing in my true power and fulfilling my larger vision and mission … .”
- Related to my Health – i.e. What my health looks and feels like. “I feel great! My body is toned, strong and flexible. I radiate health and vitality – physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually. I do yoga 3 to 4 times/week, meditate daily and spend regular time in nature hiking, kayaking, swimming, cycling …
- Financial – i,e. What my financial life looks and feels like. “ I average $_______ thousand a month in terms of income generation through Creative Life Coaching. I feel financially free and serene. I pay off my credit cards every month and my line of credit is paid off. …
- Spiritual – i.e. What my spiritual life looks and feels like. “I continue to meditate daily and deepen my ability to go within and connect with the Universal wisdom. I continue to strengthen and listen to my body’s wisdom. … “
- Intellectual – i.e. What my intellectual life looks and feels like. “I am flexible, flowing and open to new ideas. I connect with my creativity easily and effortlessly. … I blog regularly and articles come to me easily. I design and facilitate workshops and retreats that many women connect with and learn from.”
I encourage you to experiment with the process above. Feel free to change the titles of the 5 areas suggested to ones that resonate for you. Reviewing your intentions quarterly and noting how you’re doing in relation to them, helps keep them top of mind and provides encouragement to move forward. Using your intentions as a “touch stone” at the end of each year to review your achievements is helpful.
Celebrating your accomplishments feels so good and is important to provide you with the energy and commitment to move forward and fulfill your intentions.
Best of luck reflecting on 2017 and setting bold intentions for 2018. To your health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace!
I invite you to try out the process and welcome your comments below. Feel free to share this post.
 Bridges, William. Transitions – Making Sense of Life’s Changes. Cambridge: De Capo Press, 2004.