New Beginnings: A Personal Transition Journey

New Beginnings: A Personal Transition Journey

Are you in the “New Beginning” phase? Based on more than 30 thirty years working with people and organizations, William Bridges, an organizational theorist, identified that regardless of the transition you are going through there are three distinct phases: 1) an Ending; 2) a Neutral Zone; and 3) a New Beginning. He also discovered that there is work associated with each phase and if we don’t do the work, we often keep repeating the same patterns in our lives and remaining unhappy and unfilled.

Bridges differentiated between a life change and a transition; a change being something external and situational, something tangible such as a separation agreement or a pink slip. Whereas a transition is internal and psychological; the internal work we do to reorient, integrate and readjust to our new external reality.

I’ve gone through many transitions in my life and have been fortunate to have chosen many of them rather than having them imposed on me. That said, both types of transitions require time, introspection, and benefit from tools to support the process.

I will apply Bridge’s phases to the current transition I am in with the hope that they will be useful to you.

Phase 1: The Ending

In late September 2023, I handed over the leadership of Female Wave of Change Canada – https://fwoccanada.com, a national, member-based non-profit I incorporated in December 2020 with the aim to build the community and grow the Female Wave of Change – https://femalewaveofchange.com movement in Canada. It was truly a passion project. I felt so aligned with the mission, vision and values of this organization and of Ingun Bol the founder.

That said, within the third year I started to feel tired and that I wanted to open up space to do more creative work. I waited for the appropriate time (e.g. until the Board positions were filled with good people who worked well together). I was clear and announced to the Board in early May of 2023 that by the end of September at our next Annual General Meeting (AGM) I would be handing over the reins of leadership. Fortunately, two extremely capable, heart-centered women leaders came forward to Co-Lead the organization and officially became Co-Presidents at our AGM.

The work of the Ending phase is “letting go” and I added to Bridge’s model “identifying lessons learned”.

In this transition What did I let go of?

  • The status associated with being President of a vibrant and growing community
  • Regular connections with the Board
  • Regular connections with the Global Strategy Team
  • Co-creating monthly gatherings with featured guests
  • Certain Structure in my days and weeks.

What lessons did I learn?

  • When I listen to my body’s wisdom and follow it everything works
  • It takes time to move from the ending, through the neutral zone to the new beginning even when you have clarity on your next goal/vision
  • The biggest lesson I learned is that you need to integrate the New Beginning into your body; it can’t only be a goal/vision in your head. This takes time and some healing. It cannot be rushed.

I realized I was really tired but didn’t give myself time immediately after the handover to rest up. Instead, I planned and went on an amazing three-week adventure to Portugal with a dear friend. It was great to reward myself, and important to recognize that I needed to take time after to nourish myself, rather than starting my next project.

How many times have you ended something, had clarity on your next area of focus and yet were challenged to get started?

That was my experience. Even though I wanted to open space to do more creative work, in particular, to write my third book, I found it difficult to get started. The best thing I did was not to force myself to start writing that book until I felt ready. It’s taken a few months of truly listening to my body and sleeping nine, ten and eleven hours a night and a three-week vacation in Mexico with my Sweetie to finally feel like I am ready to begin.

I share this experience and these lessons with you as when you are a driven person often you check things off the list, set your new goal and begin the next project without taking a break or celebrating. However, we all need time to let go, identify and integrate the lessons learned, celebrate, and re-energize and nourish ourselves.

I hope you found this post useful and welcome your comments and questions below.

Are You Feeling Adrift?

Are You Feeling Adrift?

Are you feeling adrift? I so relate!

The American Heritage dictionary defines adrift as:

“1. Drifting or floating freely; not anchored

2. Without (clear) direction or purpose.”

Here’s how I’m feeling adrift. I’m sleeping more than 9 hours a night. I feel low energy, particularly in mid-afternoon. I’m feeling overwhelmed by the number of emails in my inbox even though I’ve unsubscribed to many and now have two less email addresses to deal with. I opened up space for more creative projects, and in spite of knowing what my next book in general will be about, I haven’t yet started writing it. Even though my phrase for this year is “Playful Creativity”, I’m being challenged to be playful or creative. My passion and zest for life seems to have gotten up and run away.

I’ve been coaching people going through a variety of life transitions individually and in groups since 2009. My inner critic is saying: “You teach people how to navigate life transitions and have a 5-step Art of Change Framework”, don’t you know how to navigate this transition with ease, grace and playfulness?”

You’ve likely heard the phrase, “we teach what we most need to learn”. As someone whose gone through many personal and professional transitions, I am STILL learning.

I recently handed over the leadership of a national non-profit I founded. It is now led by two amazing women leaders, and I feel like I did a good job handing it over. For example, I facilitated the strategic plan for the next three years with the Board, and the one-year operational plan for this year. I’ve worked collaboratively with my Board since launching the organization and left a very strong Board who work well together.  I thought I was clear on the next steps in my personal and professional life, yet I am still feeling adrift.

Is anyone out there feeling similarly or have you in the past? If you are or have in the past, I welcome your thoughts and comments below.

About 7 years ago when we moved and did a massive downsize, I wrote about that journey and shared it in my blog- https://pamela-thompson.com/culling-again-yet-another-learning-experience/.

Would you be interested in me sharing this current transition journey and the lessons learned along the way?

The Value of Tapping into and Expressing Your Creative Side: Reflections on “Learning to Dance with Life”

The Value of Tapping into and Expressing Your Creative Side: Reflections on “Learning to Dance with Life”

I’ve claimed 2024 as my year of Playful Creativity. How about you? Do you have a word or phrase for this new year? 

In “Learning to Dance with Life”, I identified seven keys to what I call “Creative Living”. Seven keys to consciously cultivating improved health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace in your life. Who doesn’t want that? One of the seven keys is “Tap into and express your creative side.”

Why is creativity so important? 

  • When we consciously bring creativity into our lives it connects us with our inner child; that part of us that loves to laugh and comes from a place of wonder 
  • When we engage in creative pursuits such as singing, painting, dancing, gardening, writing, drawing, it is therapeutic. We can get lost in the creative process and at that time forget all the challenges facing the world or the stressful parts of our own lives, and instead focus on feeling light and passionate about what we are creating.
  • When we create, we are totally in the NOW[1]. That is the space when we can tap into our inner wisdom, and also feel a sense of freedom and awareness; appreciating all that we have, and all that we are. 
  • There is much data to support the health and healing benefits of the arts 
  • Now, more than ever, we need creative solutions to solve the complex issues facing us such as climate change and systemic racism.

What are some ways to tap into and express your creativity?

Here are a few examples from “Learning to Dance with Life”.

Sit down in a quiet place, free from distractions. Take a few deep breaths to relax and close your eyes for a couple of minutes if you feel comfortable doing so. Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses to them. Write down the first thing that comes to mind without judging or editing it. 

  1. Do you consider yourself a creative person? If yes, why? If not, why not? 
  2. Are there any creative pursuits you enjoyed as a child but haven’t done for years? If so, what are they? 
  3. Are there some creative or artistic pursuits you would be interested in exploring/trying out? 
  4. Commit to either starting to integrate a childhood “passion” into your life or choose a new one such as “learning to play the piano” that perhaps you always wanted to do as a child but never had the opportunity to do. Identify the next steps for taking action to integrate a new or “old” creative or artistic pursuit into your life. It’s helpful to use a two-column table with “activity” heading one column and “timeline” the other. For example: 
  5. Activity: Explore online and via word-of-mouth “good” teachers offering piano lessons in my area. … Timeline: Start tomorrow (January 10, 2024)
  6. Activity: Begin piano lessons … Timeline: Start first lesson by January 29/24. 
  7. Support is important to many of us when starting something new and continuing with it. Enlist the support of a friend, colleague or family member to encourage and support you in your new endeavor or invite them to join you in doing it. 

 Observations and Insights from engaging in artistic/creative pursuits. 

  1. After you have engaged in a creative/artistic pursuit, go into your body and note how you feel. Does your body feel lighter? Do you have more energy? Is your mind quieter? 
  2. When you engage in a creative/artistic pursuit over time what changes if any do you notice in your body? Mind? Emotions? Relations? Life in general? 
  3. If you have been engaging in a creative/artistic pursuit with a friend, colleague or family member, what changes, if any, do you notice in them? 

The Importance of Play and Laughter

Creativity is connected to play and laughter. There is much evidence to support the importance of play and laughter in our daily lives. Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play[2] has conducted research that shows that play is not only energizing and fun, but also important for human physical, emotional, cognitive development and intelligence. 

“Play activates the reward centers of the brain, floods the rest of the brain with feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin and triggers the release of powerful neural growth factors that promote learning and mental flexibility. It causes stress hormones to drop, mood to lift and has an energizing effect.” [3]

Integrating Play and Laughter into our lives

Playing imaginary and other games with my young grandchildren has been a fun and easy way to integrate play and laughter into my life. 

Here are a few other examples of how to integrate play and laughter into your life.

  • Identify and write down types of play activities you enjoyed and engaged in as a child. 
  • Reflect on how many of these activities you currently engage in as an adult and how often you engage in them. 
  • Rate on a scale of 1 to 10 how energized each of the above activities makes you feel – 1 being “not at all” and 10 being “full of energy”. 
  • Identify several play activities you would like to begin integrating into your life. Experiment and notice how they make you feel. 
  • Commit to engaging in some form of play or laughter on a daily basis. Ask friends and family for support (perhaps make it a family project to laugh and play at least once a day) and encourage play and laughter in their lives as well. 

I encourage you to try out some of the exercises shared and consciously integrate more creative pursuits and more play and laughter into your life.  And notice what you notice.

I welcome your thoughts and experiences below.


[1] Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, New World Library, 2004

[2] https://www.nifplay.org/

[3] https://www.newsweek.com/2023/07/28/do-you-play-enough-science-says-its-critical-your-health-well-being-1813808.html

Creative Living and the 7 Keys

Creative Living and the 7 Keys

This is the second in a series of personal reflections on what has changed and what remains relevant since I wrote “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women”  ten years ago.

In “Learning to Dance with Life”, I coined the term “Creative Living”. It is defined as “the conscious cultivation of improved health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace in your life (p. 35).” In today’s world of constant change and much conflict and strife globally, Creative Living is more important than ever. Having tools and strategies to ground us and help us respond from a place of inner peace and understanding rather than conflict and reactivity, is so needed.

I also identified seven keys to Creative Living which I believe continue to be important to help us prevent and heal from burnout, and live a life of radiant health, happiness, fulfillment, and inner peace. The seven keys are:

  1. Listen to and trust in your body’s wisdom
  2. Tap into and express your creative side
  3. Consciously create right and left brain-body balance
  4. Live in alignment with your core values
  5. Believe that you are here to make a difference
  6. Learn from and embrace life transitions
  7. Find inner peace, and build peace in your family, friends, community, workplace … the world.

There is also now more documented evidence supporting each of the seven keys.

Based on some feedback I received in the past, I’m not certain that some people understood that Creative Living and the seven keys associated with it, supported me and others to heal from burnout. I know for certain that integrating these seven keys and the proven strategies and powerful practices associated with them, together, have enabled me to heal from the inside out and to live a life of improved health, happiness, fulfillment, and inner peace.

In the book, I identify seven elements of Creative Living. They are:

  1. Body wisdom
  2. Creativity
  3. Balance
  4. Core Values
  5. Beliefs
  6. Life Transitions
  7. Inner Peace.

“The elements may be likened to seeds that germinate when nourished with sufficient water, food, and warmth. The “work that we do around each seed, enables us to cultivate a unique garden of health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace (p. 36).”  I stand by this statement and am living proof of it.

How about you? Do you relate to all or any of the seven keys and elements above? I welcome your thoughts and experiences below.

Reflections on “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women”

Reflections on “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women”

I was recently nudged to reread a book I wrote ten years ago. From that experience I’m called to share my reflections and reframe the book through a lens that I hope will make it more valued and understood by more people. This is the first in a series of posts on those reflections.

What has changed? (since I wrote  “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women” )

In the past ten years, more and more influential women, and some men, are coming out of the woodwork and acknowledging that they have burnt out. An example is Jacinda Ardern, the former Prime Minister of New Zealand who in January 2023, announced “I no longer have enough in the tank to do the job”, and declared that was why she was stepping down.

It is being acknowledged more widely that the traditional ways of doing business and being successful; of driving and striving, valuing competition over collaboration, and leading from our heads and egos rather than from our hearts, are no longer sustainable. Arianna Huffington, co-founder of the Huffington Post and founder and CEO of Thrive Global, has shared her story of collapsing from overwork and why she created Thrive Global. It was as a result of her experience of “working day and night” and the negative impact it had, and her desire to share that there is a healthier way to be “successful”.

Leadership qualities such as collaboration, creativity, emotional intelligence, inclusiveness, and intuition (typically associated with the feminine) are being acknowledged as important and needed to solve complex issues of today such as climate change and systemic racism. See https://pamela-thompson.com/why-feminine-leadership-holds-the-key-to-creating-a-world-that-works-for-everyone/ for a more detailed discussion.

The experience of the pandemic caused many people to burn out. Working at home, many parents had to also look after their children which stretched them very thin. Others had difficulty creating boundaries between their work and home life. Still others felt isolated which led to depression and other mental health issues.

In 2014 I said that I “almost” burnt out[1] and I didn’t acknowledge that I had, which I now do.

I now have heightened awareness of the importance for me of being in nature every day, and what happens when I don’t get my nature “hits”.

What remains the same since writing “Learning to Dance with Life”

Some things remain the same. For example, the seven keys in my book are still relevant. Seven keys to consciously cultivating improved health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace in your life, and the powerful practices associated with each one, supporting us to heal from the inside out.

The proven strategies and powerful practices woven throughout the book are based on evidence from neuroscience, eastern psychology, and the health-promoting and healing benefits of the arts, and my own journey as well as that of women I have coached, all of which are being recognized more broadly as supporting healing and positive health and well-being.

The link between High Achieving Women and burnout. My work and the growing body of research related to burnout demonstrates that having qualities of a High Achieving Woman increase your risk of burning out.

When I was writing “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women” my editor wondered whether a more appropriate title might be “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for Driven Women”. Perhaps that is so, as many women who I would consider “high achieving” do not perceive themselves as such. While writing “Learning to Life” I interviewed women from three continents who I perceived as high achieving and some of them said things like, “I’m not a High Achieving Women or, I don’t have any great accomplishments to my name, or I’m not in the corporate world, or it sounds arrogant to call myself a High Achieving Woman.” I think that is still the case today.

I identified nineteen attributes of High Achieving Women that I validated in my interviews that still hold true today (in chapter 1). The majority of High Achieving Women tend to give more than they receive, and many are challenged to reach out for support. The also spend much more time doing than being.

Why I focused on women.

  • More and more women are becoming leaders, managers and entrepreneurs
  • Increasing numbers of women are primary breadwinners in their families
  • Women in all cultures transmit their values and wisdom to their families
  • Women have the power to change the world.  

Why I wrote the book including that “I’m called to get the message out about the negative impacts on our bodies, minds and relationships that result from driving ourselves, not listening to our bodies, and living in our left brain (p. 4).”

I welcome your thoughts and comments below on what you believe has changed in the past 10 years related to burnout and how to prevent and heal from it.


[1] “Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress. Though it’s most often caused by problems at work, it can also appear in other areas of life, such as parenting, caretaking, or romantic relationships.” Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/burnout