Birthing My Book: Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster
When I set out to write my first book “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women” that launched on Amazon last week, I had no idea the emotional roller coaster I would ride in the weeks leading up to “going public” with the book.
About a month before launch day, I started to feel incredible tension and anxiety in my body. For a number of years adrenalin had been a foreign substance in my body, but in the weeks leading up to the launch, adrenalin and the other stress hormones returned with a vengeance. Not only did I feel underlying anxiety (which is not normal for me), I was having trouble going to sleep and waking up early. I started to have misgivings about certain personal stories I had included in the book. Should I remove them? Should I tone them down? What would people think? I was baring my soul to the world and felt extremely vulnerable.
The next wave was a mixture of excitement and fear. I kept saying to myself “ride the wave”, “let this move through you”, “you are safe.” Reflecting on this, I think I was likely experiencing a number of fears and insecurities from the past that were still in my body and presented themselves with such questions as “What will people think … Will they connect with the book? Will my message reach them?” The old inner critic was running wild!
Then a week to 10 days before the launch, I felt overwhelmed by the number of things yet to be done – finish and proof the companion workbook, craft emails and posts, ask for support from friends and colleagues to share the book launch information through social media and/or emails to their contacts. It felt like there were not enough hours in the day. Then it was down to prioritizing and focusing on what was most important.
A big challenge that came up was reaching out for support to so many people to ask them to get the word out. That really stretched my comfort zone being a high achieving woman who is challenged to reach out for support, and is often the one giving to and supporting others.
Writing my book was the easy bit. It flowed out of me. The emotional roller coaster of pre-launch was the most challenging, yet it was growth-producing and taught me a lot. The most amazing part of the launch was the incredible high I felt when I saw that my book had reached #1 in the rankings in 2 categories on Amazon. I did a happy dance, was “pumped” for my launch party and basked in the amazing energy for a few days. I imagine it is similar to the exhilaration a surfer experiences when they ride a huge wave successfully to shore.
Have you experienced something similar? Do you relate? I welcome your thoughts and comments below. Feel free to share the post with others.