New Beginnings: A Personal Transition Journey

New Beginnings: A Personal Transition Journey

Are you in the “New Beginning” phase? Based on more than 30 thirty years working with people and organizations, William Bridges, an organizational theorist, identified that regardless of the transition you are going through there are three distinct phases: 1) an Ending; 2) a Neutral Zone; and 3) a New Beginning. He also discovered that there is work associated with each phase and if we don’t do the work, we often keep repeating the same patterns in our lives and remaining unhappy and unfilled.

Bridges differentiated between a life change and a transition; a change being something external and situational, something tangible such as a separation agreement or a pink slip. Whereas a transition is internal and psychological; the internal work we do to reorient, integrate and readjust to our new external reality.

I’ve gone through many transitions in my life and have been fortunate to have chosen many of them rather than having them imposed on me. That said, both types of transitions require time, introspection, and benefit from tools to support the process.

I will apply Bridge’s phases to the current transition I am in with the hope that they will be useful to you.

Phase 1: The Ending

In late September 2023, I handed over the leadership of Female Wave of Change Canada – https://fwoccanada.com, a national, member-based non-profit I incorporated in December 2020 with the aim to build the community and grow the Female Wave of Change – https://femalewaveofchange.com movement in Canada. It was truly a passion project. I felt so aligned with the mission, vision and values of this organization and of Ingun Bol the founder.

That said, within the third year I started to feel tired and that I wanted to open up space to do more creative work. I waited for the appropriate time (e.g. until the Board positions were filled with good people who worked well together). I was clear and announced to the Board in early May of 2023 that by the end of September at our next Annual General Meeting (AGM) I would be handing over the reins of leadership. Fortunately, two extremely capable, heart-centered women leaders came forward to Co-Lead the organization and officially became Co-Presidents at our AGM.

The work of the Ending phase is “letting go” and I added to Bridge’s model “identifying lessons learned”.

In this transition What did I let go of?

  • The status associated with being President of a vibrant and growing community
  • Regular connections with the Board
  • Regular connections with the Global Strategy Team
  • Co-creating monthly gatherings with featured guests
  • Certain Structure in my days and weeks.

What lessons did I learn?

  • When I listen to my body’s wisdom and follow it everything works
  • It takes time to move from the ending, through the neutral zone to the new beginning even when you have clarity on your next goal/vision
  • The biggest lesson I learned is that you need to integrate the New Beginning into your body; it can’t only be a goal/vision in your head. This takes time and some healing. It cannot be rushed.

I realized I was really tired but didn’t give myself time immediately after the handover to rest up. Instead, I planned and went on an amazing three-week adventure to Portugal with a dear friend. It was great to reward myself, and important to recognize that I needed to take time after to nourish myself, rather than starting my next project.

How many times have you ended something, had clarity on your next area of focus and yet were challenged to get started?

That was my experience. Even though I wanted to open space to do more creative work, in particular, to write my third book, I found it difficult to get started. The best thing I did was not to force myself to start writing that book until I felt ready. It’s taken a few months of truly listening to my body and sleeping nine, ten and eleven hours a night and a three-week vacation in Mexico with my Sweetie to finally feel like I am ready to begin.

I share this experience and these lessons with you as when you are a driven person often you check things off the list, set your new goal and begin the next project without taking a break or celebrating. However, we all need time to let go, identify and integrate the lessons learned, celebrate, and re-energize and nourish ourselves.

I hope you found this post useful and welcome your comments and questions below.

Are You Feeling Adrift?

Are You Feeling Adrift?

Are you feeling adrift? I so relate!

The American Heritage dictionary defines adrift as:

“1. Drifting or floating freely; not anchored

2. Without (clear) direction or purpose.”

Here’s how I’m feeling adrift. I’m sleeping more than 9 hours a night. I feel low energy, particularly in mid-afternoon. I’m feeling overwhelmed by the number of emails in my inbox even though I’ve unsubscribed to many and now have two less email addresses to deal with. I opened up space for more creative projects, and in spite of knowing what my next book in general will be about, I haven’t yet started writing it. Even though my phrase for this year is “Playful Creativity”, I’m being challenged to be playful or creative. My passion and zest for life seems to have gotten up and run away.

I’ve been coaching people going through a variety of life transitions individually and in groups since 2009. My inner critic is saying: “You teach people how to navigate life transitions and have a 5-step Art of Change Framework”, don’t you know how to navigate this transition with ease, grace and playfulness?”

You’ve likely heard the phrase, “we teach what we most need to learn”. As someone whose gone through many personal and professional transitions, I am STILL learning.

I recently handed over the leadership of a national non-profit I founded. It is now led by two amazing women leaders, and I feel like I did a good job handing it over. For example, I facilitated the strategic plan for the next three years with the Board, and the one-year operational plan for this year. I’ve worked collaboratively with my Board since launching the organization and left a very strong Board who work well together.  I thought I was clear on the next steps in my personal and professional life, yet I am still feeling adrift.

Is anyone out there feeling similarly or have you in the past? If you are or have in the past, I welcome your thoughts and comments below.

About 7 years ago when we moved and did a massive downsize, I wrote about that journey and shared it in my blog- https://pamela-thompson.com/culling-again-yet-another-learning-experience/.

Would you be interested in me sharing this current transition journey and the lessons learned along the way?

Interested in Learning more about Life Transitions? Book Club Questions for “The Exploits of Minerva”

Interested in Learning more about Life Transitions? Book Club Questions for “The Exploits of Minerva”

“I invite you to join me on the journey back in time where I share key life transitions and lessons learned along the way. It is my hope that you will glean some new insights, better understand yourself and others, and realize you are not alone.”(The Exploits of Minerva: Reflections of a Sixty-Something Woman, p. 4 – https://pamela-thompson.com/books)

Minerva is a playful and sensitive woman in her mid-sixties. She believes that life is an adventure to be lived to the fullest and lives her life according to that mantra. Minerva has experienced numerous life transitions including divorce, finding the love of her life, burnout, living and working on five continents … . She learns valuable lessons and gains support from her women’s circle that she meets with every two weeks. The five women in the Circle have been supporting each other through a variety of life transitions for over two decades. They share their raw and real stories in this part-memoir, part self-help guide.

To help you reflect on your own journey and those of other women in your life, I’ve created a series of questions. They are intended for discussion in a book club. That said you may also use them to learn more about yourself and other women in your life who are similar to the characters in this story.

Potential Book Club Questions:

  1. What characteristics draw you to Minerva, if any?
  2. Which experience or experiences of Minerva do you most relate to and why?
  3. What is Minerva’s main struggle? What does she have to learn to overcome and deal with internally?
  4. Of the other women in the Women’s Circle, which ones are you drawn to and why?
  5. Do you feel you have a better understanding of certain life transitions after reading this book? If so, which ones and why?
  6. Reading “The Exploits of Minerva” has … ?
  7. Would you recommend this book to others? If yes, who and why?

I welcome your comments and responses to these questions below.

How to Navigate Change from the Inside Out: A Personal Journey

How to Navigate Change from the Inside Out: A Personal Journey

What is the difference between a life change and a life transition? A life change is external and situational; something tangible such as a separation agreement or a “pink slip” when you lose a job. Whereas a life transition is internal and psychological. It is the internal work we do to reorient and readjust ourselves to our new external reality.[1]

Many of us do the life change but do not do what I call the “transition journey work”. When we only do the life change, we often keep repeating the same patterns in our lives and become frustrated and unfulfilled. An example is someone who consistently chooses new positions for the money without understanding and choosing based on their passions and what makes their soul sing. Another is someone who marries three, four or five times and after the initial honeymoon phase ends up in each relationship dealing with the same issues again and again and again, and either stays in the relationship and remains unhappy and unfulfilled or leaves and starts the process again.

The Benefits of doing the Internal Work

When we commit and take the time to do the internal psychological work and switch our beliefs and actions from resisting to embracing change, we no longer perceive change as a threat.

So how do you learn to embrace change and view it as a creative process that opens you up to new possibilities?

By understanding yourself and how you respond to change and why. And having a framework and tools to support you to navigate the journey.

The Art of Change Framework

Based on over 30 years of experience working with people and organizations in volatile environments including conflict zones, I created the “Art of Change Framework”. It is based on the metaphor “life is a dance” and underpinned by the belief that “embracing change is a creative process that opens us up to new possibilities.” Faced with yet another life transition, I decided to apply the “Art of Change Framework” to that transition and document the journey so I could share it with others.

On October 7, 2022, I had hip replacement surgery for my left hip. Due to osteoarthritis, I hardly had any cartilage left in it. That was the first major surgery I’d had.

My Transition Journey: Applying the “Art of Change Framework”

Step 1 – The first step in the “Art of Change Framework” is Shine the Light. This is where you explore how you respond to change and why.

Rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10 in terms of how you typically respond to change “1” being “scares me to death” and “10” being “I thrive on it”. I rate myself as a “9” as I typically enjoy change and starting and experiencing new things. Perhaps you relate. The next activity is Rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10 in terms of how you typically respond to a change that is imposed on you and that “comes out of the blue” such as when you receive a lay-off notice or when your partner says they no longer love you. I rate myself as a “6” on this scale.

Step 2 – Choose Your Dance – This is where you choose the transition you want to focus on, as it is preferable to focus on one transition at a time. The transition I’m choosing to focus on is my hip replacement surgery.

Step 3 – Feel the Rhythm and Learn the Steps – In this step you begin doing the work associated with where you are on your transition journey that includes: 1) an ending; 2) a neutral zone; and 3) a new beginning (adapted from the work of William Bridges). Each phase has work associated with it. The work associated with the ending is letting go and identifying lessons learned.

What did I have to let go of as part of my hip replacement surgery?

  • Fear I had about “going under the knife”
  • The emotions associated with grief; losing my once healthy hip, the one that had enabled me to run, jump, swim, hike … for all those years
  • The belief that I had somehow caused my hip cartilage to deteriorate based on all of the track and field, running, and jumping and other sports I have done since my youth
  • My independence as I had to let my partner and others support me during my recovery
  • The ability to do activities I regularly do such as yoga, walking in nature, swimming, hiking …
  • The belief that I’m getting old and as we age our health declines.

Step 4 – Practice, Practice, Practice – This step involves embracing change in your body and continuing to do the work associated with the phase of the transition journey you are in.

As part of the ending phase above, what lessons did I learn from the experience?

  • Patience; I had to learn that recuperating from this type of surgery takes time; at least three to six months
  • To reach out and ask for support
  • To receive and be okay depending on the physical and emotional support of others
  • What an amazing caregiver my partner Alan is
  • I am challenged to sit still and not be physically active
  • This provided me the opportunity to pause, reflect and take stock of my life and identify the many people and things I am grateful for
  • I received the insight that as it was my left hip that was replaced, it is representative of my feminine side. Perhaps my new hip will have “amped up” my feminine energy and help me to spend more time in flow and move forward more quickly and easily without driving and striving.

The neutral zone is the phase between the ending and the new beginning. The work of this phase is to get clear and envision the life, relationship, career of your dreams. It provides an opportunity to create and visualize what your new life will look and feel like. This can also be a fearful place as you have “taken the leap”, are entering unknown territory, and you’re not sure what’s on the other side or whether there is a net to catch you.

I could have chosen not to go on the surgical wait list about a year ago, but after encouragement from my partner I said yes.

What will my new life look like? I see myself:

  • playing with my grandkids, going up and down slides with them (including water slides), climbing on recreational equipment
  • kayaking with my Sweetie, going on motorcycle rides, and feeling comfortable on the back of Alan’s motorbike
  • awakening each day feeling whole, healthy and without pain
  • hiking and walking with friends and family on a regular basis
  • doing yoga three or more times a week
  • believing that life continues to be an adventure to be lived to the fullest

Step 5 – Share Your Dance with the World – In this step, due to the positive ways you respond to change, you inspire and are a positive role model for others.

In Conclusion

Applying the “Art of Change Framework” to my recent hip replacement experience reaffirmed for me that the 5-step “Art of Change Framework” and process takes you on a journey that transforms you from resisting and fearing change to moving through personal and professional transitions with greater ease, grace, and playfulness, resulting in increased clarity and confidence.

If the “Art of Change Framework” resonates for you, I encourage you to apply it to your own personal and professional transitions. I welcome your comments and questions below.


[1] Bridges, William, Transitions; Making Sense of Life’s Changes. Cambridge: Da Capo Press, 2004.

The Cost of Resisting Change & a Process to Embrace It

The Cost of Resisting Change & a Process to Embrace It

I’ve witnessed the havoc resisting change can wreak on our bodies, our minds, our relationships, our organizations, and our bottom lines. What if instead we learned to embrace change and view it as an opportunity, as a creative process that opens us up to new possibilities. That is the belief on which the “Art of Change Framework” is based. It is aimed at turning change on its head. How do we do that?

The 5-step “Art of Change Framework” guides you through a process where you explore how you typically respond to change and why, identify what you need to let go of in relation to a change to move forward, envision that new life, business, relationship, work of your dreams and create an action plan to move from where you are to where you want to be. It is based on my own work with clients from around the world, my own journey, and is underpinned by evidence from neuroscience, eastern psychology, the health-promoting and healing benefits of the arts and organizational development. It can be used for both personal and professional change, for individuals, and also leaders and their teams.

I invite you to rate yourself on a scale from one to ten in terms of how you typically respond to change and why (one being “scares me to death” and ten being “I thrive on it”). Now rate yourself on the same scale in terms of how you typically respond to a change that is imposed on you; one that you have no control over. Are your ratings different? This can also be used with leaders and their teams about to embark on a change process or in the middle of one. Have each team member openly share their number (understanding that higher numbers are not better, they just are where a person is at), and then invite them to share how best they can be supported through the change.

If interested to learn more, you may access the “Art of Change Framework” here: https://pamela-thompson.com. If you would like to explore how you or your team may apply the framework to personal or professional change, I invite you to book a discovery call with me by emailing pam@creativelivingcommunity.com with Discovery Call in the Subject Line.

Things to Consider before “Taking the Leap” to Start Your Own Business

Things to Consider before “Taking the Leap” to Start Your Own Business

You may be at a point in your life where you’re feeling so done about having a “real” job.

You may realize you no longer are “juiced” by what you do, or perhaps you never were. Maybe you’ve been taking positions that don’t make your soul sing for the pay and the status.

Perhaps you have a position you enjoy but are working much harder and longer hours than you are being paid for and you’re starting to resent it.  

I understand. I’ve been there. I can still remember when I made the decision to leave my well-paying government job with benefits to join a management consulting company on a handshake.

 In the early 1990s, I attended a course on “Project Management in a Government Environment” where I ended up facilitating a small group and presenting the findings from our group. After the session, the trainer, who was a partner in a management consulting group, asked where I had learned to facilitate. I said, “I just do it”; I’m trained in therapeutic groups, and I used to do group and family therapy. He replied, “We need to talk.”

Six months later I was in the HR department of the government ministry I had been working for signing my resignation documents. At that time, I was informed I would lose the 3.5 years of contributions the government had made toward my pension plan if I left before the four-year mark. I thought for a moment about this and then realized I wanted to move forward. I was excited about trying something new and getting well paid to do it.

My Dad wondered why I would give up a good position and financial security without a contract. I knew in my heart and gut that this opportunity was the “carrot” I needed to become a consultant. Within six months of joining the consulting group, the partner who had brought me in had a philosophical split with the other two partners and started his own company. He asked me to join him, but I didn’t want to take sides. I started my own business, and the rest is history. Within two years I was making six figures and so enjoying working with my own clients. Since that time, I have launched four consulting and coaching businesses, have learned so much and been paid well. That said I needed the opportunity to work for another consulting group before I took the leap to strike out on my own.

I’m sharing this story and not recommending that you take the leap to start your own business if you feel undervalued, overworked, and perhaps underpaid, before taking into consideration some critical factors.

It is important to have some finances built up before you launch your own business. Contacts in the area you are planning to work in are important. I had co-chaired a national strategy for the federal government that had multiple partners. A number of them hired me as a facilitator and qualitative researcher to do studies for their organizations when I left my position, because they knew and trusted me. If you think you have consulting skills to offer it is helpful to join another consulting group to “learn the ropes”.

What about you? Are you thinking about “taking the leap” and striking out on your own? Perhaps you’ve done it and have some valuable lessons to share. I welcome your thoughts in the comments below.