We are hard-wired to perceive change as a threat. Our primitive brain likes to keep us safe and has enabled humans to survive through time. When our amygdala (part of the brain) detects fear, it sends messages to our bodies to go into fight, flight or freeze mode. This explains why some of us become angry as a result of a change being imposed on us, fearful and wanting to run away from a situation rather than face it, or paralyzed and unable to think clearly or to move forward.
So, how can we reduce our fear of change given this biological reality? Norman Doidge in The Brain that Changes Itself provides powerful evidence that our thoughts and perceptions have the power to change the structure of our brains. In other words, if we create new beliefs around change and internalize them, we also create new neural pathways that enable us to respond positively to change rather than view it as a threat. Candace Pert in her landmark book Molecules of Emotion provides strong evidence that our thoughts and emotions affect our bodies.
Given these facts, how can we reduce our fear of change? Here are some proven strategies. We can:
- Understand how we respond to change and why – A simple exercise is to rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10 related to how you respond to change: “1” being it scares me to death and “10” being I thrive on it. Another way is to spend some time reflecting on the barriers you have towards change and writing them down. A number of barriers to change have been identified in the literature including: becoming paralyzed by fear, procrastinating, blaming others, believing we can’t do something or are not worthy, always focusing on problems rather than solutions, getting stuck in old habits or denying change is happening, and not being willing to put in the effort required to make a change. Ask yourself, What barriers do I have to embracing change in general, and in this particular situation? E.g. changing jobs, leaving an unsatisfying relationship, accepting a new leader in my organization. Notice past patterns in your life.
- Become aware of our beliefs around change – Close your eyes and think about a recent change; one that you didn’t choose but was imposed on you. Examples include: lay-off, separation, relocation. Notice what words come up for you. Write them down. Begin with the stem “Change is”_______ and fill in the blank. Do a brain dump and write down all the words that come up to define what change means to you. Examples are “Change is scary”; “Change is to be avoided at all costs” …
- Try on some new beliefs about change; such as “Change opens me up to new possibilities”, “Embracing change is a creative process”, “Change provides me with an opportunity to learn and grow”. Post one of these positive beliefs where you will see it at least 3 times a day – on your computer, bathroom mirror…and say this belief aloud each time you see it. Do this for 21 to 30 days and observe what you notice.
- Become aware of how we perceive change and replace our negative feelings and emotions with positive and empowering ones. Ariane de Bonvoisin in “The First 30 Days – Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier” identifies six “change demons” and their antidotes. The six change demons are: fear, doubt, blame, guilt, shame and impatience. She explains that the change demons “help us navigate through change by alerting us if we are off course and encouraging us to choose a different emotion to help us get where we want to go.” Being aware of which emotion you are feeling and replacing each one with positive and empowering emotions and antidotes are key to learning from and navigating change and dealing with uncertainty. The six change demons and their antidotes are:
|2) doubt||surrender (to not knowing)|
|3) blame||honesty (taking responsibility for our role in situations)|
|5) shame||honor (your dark or shadow side)|
- Introduce small changes into your daily routine. Take a different route to work. Eat something different for breakfast. Walk or cycle to work instead of driving. Do this for a month and observe what you notice. Change is like a muscle. The more change you choose in your life, the more flexible you tend to become.
What change demons are your facing? How do you typically respond to change? What strategies will you begin integrating into your life to reduce your fear of change?
I welcome your comments below. Feel free to share this post with others.
Delightful! Looking at change with new eyes and with a positive spin is a great way to keep moving forward. Change makes me unconfortable so I always like to say “comfort is overrated” and embrace discomfort with a smile.
Thanks Rachel for your positive comments and for sharing how you reframe your beliefs around change 🙂
Wonderful article Pamela. Change is ever present and in the outer world and is moving at an exponential rate. The six change demons and their antidotes are excellent advice. As you say, change is a muscle – exercise it often, because if you don’t, it’s easy to be blind-sided! 🙂
Thanks Debra. Happy you found the article helpful. I appreciate your positive feedback.
Someone once said that the only things in life that never changed were death and taxes! Change happens every day even if we’re not aware of it. Once we understand that, we can learn to perceive change in a whole different way. Great post!
Hi Barb, So true that change happens every day even if we’re not aware of it. Wise words! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Appreciating the power and simplicity of your chart “The six change demons and their antidotes are:…”
This makes it easy to remember! Thank you for such a content-rich blog.
Hi Lore, Happy you found the blog useful. I appreciate your positive feedback.
Thanks for an insightful article about the power of beliefs. We all live within our belief system that brings us either suffering or enlightenment. The Buddha mind is within each of us, but when we believe our thoughts of attack, judgment or fear, we suffer. Thanks for the reminder! Monica
Hi Monica, Happy you found the article useful. So true that our belief systems influence how we live our lives. Appreciate your comments.
I enjoyed reading this post and found it helpful. I appreciate your clear reasoned style and format.
Hi Meghan, I’m happy you found the post useful and appreciate your positive feedback.
This is so important! How we relate to change is at the heart of so much: whether we move forward or not, how we feel with moment-to-moment shifts, self-worth. Thanks for shining the light, Pamela!
Thanks Laurie! I appreciate your thoughtful comments.