I’ve come to believe that if I don’t truly love myself and treat myself with kindness, I’m unable to have a happy, fulfilling and healthy relationship with someone else.
February is celebrated as the month of love in many countries around the world. It’s often thought of in the context of romantic love. That said, this month has got me thinking about self-love and being kind to myself. I believe in the saying If you aren’t good to yourself, no one else will be.
We often give so much to others that there is little left for ourselves and we feel depleted, exhausted and at times resentful. We think that if we say “No” that others won’t like us or we’ll be letting them down. I know for sure that when you set healthy boundaries, people sense and respect them and still love you, perhaps even more.
So What does being kind to yourself look and feel like for you?
For me it looks like:
- Taking time each day to do something special for me
- Meditating each morning.
- Doing yoga 3 times a week or more
- Walking in nature once a week or more
- Booking trips and making time to visit my grandchildren every quarter
- Truly being present with family and friends when I am with them
- In yoga class, listening to my body and not pushing myself when I feel low in energy
- Taking time to breathe and “smell the roses’ instead of constantly thinking about my “to-do” list
- Listening to music I love
- Letting my inner child come out to play regularly – through dancing around my kitchen, finger painting without a picture in mind, swimming, kayaking, hiking, cycling
- When my inner critic begins to chatter in my head, saying a loud NO to it and stating “I’m not listening to you any more” and then reframing the negative chatter into a positive statement and saying it aloud
- Treating myself to a massage
- Treating myself to a pedicure
When I’m kind to myself I feel:
- Fully present
- At ease
- Free of negative chatter
- In “the flow”
- Fun to be around
I invite you to answer this question and notice what flows out of you. I challenge you to begin every morning thinking about and choosing at least one way you wish to be kind to yourself that day. During the day notice how you feel when you are doing so, and also how others respond to you. Continue doing this each day for three weeks and notice what difference it makes in your life.
What I know to be true is that when we’re kind to ourselves magical things happen!
I’d love to hear from you and what you do to be kind to yourself, as well as what you notice when you intentionally do this. Please share your comments below and feel free to forward this post to others.
This is a lovely post and a wonderful sentiment.
Many of my kind acts are similar to your own.
At the start of 2018, I actually wrote a list that included my daily, weekly and yearly desires to optimize my health, wellbeing and consciousness. I pulled it out yesterday and was remarkably pleased with my efforts!
Hi Krystal, Thanks for your kind feedback and for sharing your experience. Good for you to have written and committed to a list of daily, weekly and yearly desires to optimize your health, wellbeing and consciousness. Keep up the great work!
TY Pamela for these simple, important reminders of kindness & living well.
Hi Susan, My pleasure. Happy you found the article helpful. Yes, I think we can all use reminders about being kind to ourselves.
Great post with simple steps to take and the results you can receive if you do it. Love that! Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom!
Hi Kris, Happy you found the post useful. I appreciate your positive feedback.
I love being kind to myself. I treat myself with much love and compassion daily.
I enjoy listening to music, buying myself flowers, taking long hot baths, indulging in my gemstone collection, working with healing energies, treating myself to yoga the art museum, taking time to view art, taking time for my photography, writing poetry, taking time in nature, the list goes on. When I do this I always feel inspired and in turn can inspire others through all that I do.
Hi Heather Maria, Wow! That’s impressive all of the things you do to be kind to yourself. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the healthy living and inspiring others!
Pamela, you are so right being kind to ourselves it SO important! I do many of these things on a regular basis as part of my healing process since my husband’s suicide. My favorites are being out in nature-daily, weekly massages or healing sessions, time with friends, listening to music, learning to re-frame my inner critic voices etc… These are all such good reminders for us, thank you for this post.
Hi Kara, Thanks for sharing all the positive things you do to be kind to yourself. Good for you!