by pam | Nov 27, 2023 | Burnout, Health & Wellbeing, High Achieving Women, Leadership, Self-Care
I was recently nudged to reread a book I wrote ten years ago. From that experience I’m called to share my reflections and reframe the book through a lens that I hope will make it more valued and understood by more people. This is the first in a series of posts on those reflections.
What has changed? (since I wrote “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women” )
In the past ten years, more and more influential women, and some men, are coming out of the woodwork and acknowledging that they have burnt out. An example is Jacinda Ardern, the former Prime Minister of New Zealand who in January 2023, announced “I no longer have enough in the tank to do the job”, and declared that was why she was stepping down.
It is being acknowledged more widely that the traditional ways of doing business and being successful; of driving and striving, valuing competition over collaboration, and leading from our heads and egos rather than from our hearts, are no longer sustainable. Arianna Huffington, co-founder of the Huffington Post and founder and CEO of Thrive Global, has shared her story of collapsing from overwork and why she created Thrive Global. It was as a result of her experience of “working day and night” and the negative impact it had, and her desire to share that there is a healthier way to be “successful”.
Leadership qualities such as collaboration, creativity, emotional intelligence, inclusiveness, and intuition (typically associated with the feminine) are being acknowledged as important and needed to solve complex issues of today such as climate change and systemic racism. See https://pamela-thompson.com/why-feminine-leadership-holds-the-key-to-creating-a-world-that-works-for-everyone/ for a more detailed discussion.
The experience of the pandemic caused many people to burn out. Working at home, many parents had to also look after their children which stretched them very thin. Others had difficulty creating boundaries between their work and home life. Still others felt isolated which led to depression and other mental health issues.
In 2014 I said that I “almost” burnt out[1] and I didn’t acknowledge that I had, which I now do.
I now have heightened awareness of the importance for me of being in nature every day, and what happens when I don’t get my nature “hits”.
What remains the same since writing “Learning to Dance with Life”
Some things remain the same. For example, the seven keys in my book are still relevant. Seven keys to consciously cultivating improved health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace in your life, and the powerful practices associated with each one, supporting us to heal from the inside out.
The proven strategies and powerful practices woven throughout the book are based on evidence from neuroscience, eastern psychology, and the health-promoting and healing benefits of the arts, and my own journey as well as that of women I have coached, all of which are being recognized more broadly as supporting healing and positive health and well-being.
The link between High Achieving Women and burnout. My work and the growing body of research related to burnout demonstrates that having qualities of a High Achieving Woman increase your risk of burning out.
When I was writing “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women” my editor wondered whether a more appropriate title might be “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for Driven Women”. Perhaps that is so, as many women who I would consider “high achieving” do not perceive themselves as such. While writing “Learning to Life” I interviewed women from three continents who I perceived as high achieving and some of them said things like, “I’m not a High Achieving Women or, I don’t have any great accomplishments to my name, or I’m not in the corporate world, or it sounds arrogant to call myself a High Achieving Woman.” I think that is still the case today.
I identified nineteen attributes of High Achieving Women that I validated in my interviews that still hold true today (in chapter 1). The majority of High Achieving Women tend to give more than they receive, and many are challenged to reach out for support. The also spend much more time doing than being.
Why I focused on women.
- More and more women are becoming leaders, managers and entrepreneurs
- Increasing numbers of women are primary breadwinners in their families
- Women in all cultures transmit their values and wisdom to their families
- Women have the power to change the world.
Why I wrote the book including that “I’m called to get the message out about the negative impacts on our bodies, minds and relationships that result from driving ourselves, not listening to our bodies, and living in our left brain (p. 4).”
I welcome your thoughts and comments below on what you believe has changed in the past 10 years related to burnout and how to prevent and heal from it.
[1] “Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress. Though it’s most often caused by problems at work, it can also appear in other areas of life, such as parenting, caretaking, or romantic relationships.” Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/burnout
by pam | Nov 6, 2023 | Celebrating, Feminine Leadership, LeadinginUncertainTimes
When was the last time you truly rewarded yourself for a job well done? In my former life of driving and striving, I would complete something on my list, check it off and get on with the next thing. I didn’t take time to celebrate.
Recently I handed over the leadership of a national non-profit I founded about three years ago to two extremely capable women. I feel so blessed that they said yes to taking over the reins. Founding and running a non-profit is similar, to starting up and running a business. You need to generate revenue, identify who you are serving and provide them with products and services that meet their needs. As a leader, it is important to create a team that works well together and inspire them with your vision and mission.
When I founded Female Wave of Change Canada – https://fwoccanada.com on December 7, 2020, it was part of a commitment to the global body Female Wave of Change – https://femalewaveofchange.com to create a legal entity to build the community and grow the movement across Canada. We believe that feminine leadership holds the key to creating a better world; a more conscious, equitable, just, sustainable, and peaceful one. From the outset when Ingun Bol, the founder, invited me to be Ambassador for Canada of Female Wave of Change, I felt the passion and alignment to their philosophy and values. The fact that Ingun did not provide a model of how the community “should” be grown was another thing that attracted me. The opportunity to create something new and inspire others to believe in our mission and vision and truly model the attributes of a feminine leader appealed to me. Such attributes include: authenticity, inclusiveness, collaborative, emotionally intelligent … (explained in more detail here: https://pamela-thompson.com/why-feminine-leadership-holds-the-key-to-creating-a-world-that-works-for-everyone)
In this constantly changing and uncertain world we live in, how many of us take the time to really listen to what our heart and gut are telling us? Perhaps that is one of the benefits of aging. When we are younger, we may set goals and pursue careers based on what others are telling us we’re good at. As we age and hopefully become wiser, we really don’t care much about what others think and gain more clarity about what will truly bring us joy.
I knew more than six months before I mentioned to my Board that I needed to hand over the leadership and that my passion was starting to wane. My heart and gut were telling me that it was important to open up some more space to be creative; to write that next book, to start painting, to be open to other possibilities, whatever they might be. For awhile, I was afraid to announce to the Board my intention. However, when I said in early May of this year that by the end of September, I wanted to hand over the reins, I was extremely clear. I had also considered that if no one came forward that I would have to potentially shut down an organization that I had poured my “heart and soul” into. Having that clarity, I believe assisted me and the Board to decide on a Co-Chair model with two women leaders sharing the responsibility of moving the organization forward with the support of others on the Board. It is also a beautiful way to model collaboration, one of the attributes of a feminine leader.
I’m proud to say that we have a strong committed Board and a core of paid members who attend our monthly virtual gatherings with featured guests on a regular basis. We have also co-created a “Mother Earth Ambassador Program”; an experiential outdoor education program for girls ages 9 to 12 that teaches them about Mother Earth, the Mother Tree, and how to become Mother Earth Ambassadors in their homes, schools and communities. More details here: https://pamela-thompson.com/how-mother-nature-the-mother-tree-and-feminine-leadership-intersect-a-unique-program-empowering-leaders-of-the-future/. The first cohort of the program is happening in Metchosin, BC on Vancouver Island and is scheduled to finish in early December. We are currently seeking partners to implement this program across Canada and beyond. Feel free to reach out if you and your organization is interested in that possibility by emailing me directly at pamela@femalewaveofchange.com.
If interested in learning more about Female Wave of Change Canada I invite you to explore our website: https://fwoccanada.com and register to attend one of our virtual monthly gatherings that typically happen the third Wednesday of every month from 4:30 to 6 pm Pacific/7:30 to 9 pm Eastern.
So, how did I reward myself? I planned a three-week vacation in Portugal and invited a dear friend to join me. We had a blast! How will you reward yourself and celebrate your next achievement?
I welcome your thoughts and comments below.
by pam | Jun 13, 2023 | Benefits of being in nature, Collaboration, Feminine Leadership, Health & Wellbeing
It was about six weeks into the pandemic; a scary and uncertain time. Then came the news of air pollution levels over China drastically decreasing and dolphins returning to swim in the canals of Venice! Two powerful indicators of nature showing us how she can heal herself and ways we can contribute to healing the planet.
I’ve been interested in nature since a child and feel blessed to now live 10 minutes’ walk from the ocean and about 10 minutes from a beautiful park. That said I’ve never studied much about the environment, sustainability, or regenerative agriculture until recently. These powerful examples from nature encouraged me to want to learn more and find out how I could contribute to improving the health of the planet.
I run a national, member-based non-profit Female Wave of Change Canada. We are part of a global social movement, Female Wave of Change , now in over 40 countries around the globe. We believe feminine leadership holds the key to creating a better world; a more conscious, equitable, just, sustainable, and peaceful one. We work in five pillar areas: education, environment, economy, health, and humanity. Inspired by these two powerful examples from nature, I put a call out to members in late June of 2021 to invite them to be part of a team to co-create a project related to the environment. The caveat was they needed to have an interest in and/or be passionate about the environment. They didn’t need to be a subject matter expert and if they were that was a bonus. Five members responded to the “call”, one being a subject matter expert. In less than six months via zoom, we co-created the Mother Earth Ambassador Program[1], an experiential, outdoor education program to teach girls ages 9 to 12 about Mother Earth, the Mother Tree, and how to become Ambassadors for Mother Earth in their homes, schools, and communities.
We reviewed a number of articles and books, as well as videos and programs on nature, the environment, and sustainability and decided to focus on the forest. We were strongly influenced by the work of Suzanne Simard, a forest ecologist at the University of British Columbia and her research on the Mother Tree. She discovered that there are hub trees in the forest and called them Mother Trees as they display many characteristics of nurturing mothers such as when a tree is experiencing unhealthy conditions such as insufficient nutrients, the Mother Tree communicates through the mycorrhizal fungi in the soil to other trees to support young and unhealthy trees even if they are of another species. The Mother Tree exhibits qualities of feminine leadership our organization promotes such as inclusiveness, collaboration, and creativity to name a few.
Girls aged 9 to 12 are the leaders of the future and teaching them about the Mother Tree, Mother Nature and how to become Ambassadors strengthens their confidence to make wise choices during a pivotal time in their lives. During the program, each girl develops a personalized action plan to create positive change for the earth in her home, school and/or community.
We are currently accepting applications for a cohort of eight girls starting in Metchosin on Vancouver Island on September 23 running for eight Saturdays until November 18. The program is being facilitated by Sarah Wade a certified elementary and middle school teacher with much experience teaching outdoor education including living and working with indigenous elders and youth in Nunavut.
We have a big vision for the program. We plan to develop partnerships with organizations who serve girls ages 9 to 12 to deliver the program across Canada and beyond. To support this vision, we need funds to create a train-the-trainer program that will augment the detailed facilitator’s guide and overall program design we developed with the support of a gifted curriculum development consultant Tiana Fech.
If this program “strikes a chord” with you, there are three ways you may support it:
- Share the program details with families you know with girls aged 9 to 12 who live in the Greater Victoria, BC area who you think might be a good fit, and encourage them to consider applying – https://fwoccanada.com/mother-earth-ambassador-program/
- Donate or become a sponsor for the program (Note that we receive no funds from the parent organization and all of our programs and initiatives are supported by memberships, donations, and sponsors) – https://fwoccanada.com/donate/
- Contact info@fwoccanada.com if you are aware of or belong to an organization who would be interested in learning more about delivering this program in your/their community.
[1] I would like to acknowledge Dave Best, CEO, Vanilla Blossom (sponsor), Tiana Fech, those members of FWOCC who donated to the initiative and the 5 members of the team who “birthed” the Mother Earth Ambassador Program with me: Rita Fromholt, Laureen Card, Donna Fairhurst, Charmaine Hammond, and Carolyn Pisani.
by pam | Dec 16, 2022 | Change, Dealing with Uncertainty, Embracing Change, Health & Wellbeing, Leadership
I’ve witnessed the havoc resisting change can wreak on our bodies, our minds, our relationships, our organizations, and our bottom lines. What if instead we learned to embrace change and view it as an opportunity, as a creative process that opens us up to new possibilities. That is the belief on which the “Art of Change Framework” is based. It is aimed at turning change on its head. How do we do that?
The 5-step “Art of Change Framework” guides you through a process where you explore how you typically respond to change and why, identify what you need to let go of in relation to a change to move forward, envision that new life, business, relationship, work of your dreams and create an action plan to move from where you are to where you want to be. It is based on my own work with clients from around the world, my own journey, and is underpinned by evidence from neuroscience, eastern psychology, the health-promoting and healing benefits of the arts and organizational development. It can be used for both personal and professional change, for individuals, and also leaders and their teams.
I invite you to rate yourself on a scale from one to ten in terms of how you typically respond to change and why (one being “scares me to death” and ten being “I thrive on it”). Now rate yourself on the same scale in terms of how you typically respond to a change that is imposed on you; one that you have no control over. Are your ratings different? This can also be used with leaders and their teams about to embark on a change process or in the middle of one. Have each team member openly share their number (understanding that higher numbers are not better, they just are where a person is at), and then invite them to share how best they can be supported through the change.
If interested to learn more, you may access the “Art of Change Framework” here: https://pamela-thompson.com. If you would like to explore how you or your team may apply the framework to personal or professional change, I invite you to book a discovery call with me by emailing pam@creativelivingcommunity.com with Discovery Call in the Subject Line.
by pam | Jun 13, 2021 | Change, Embracing Change, Life Transitions, Managing Change, Women in Business
The pandemic has been a time of transition for us all.
- You may have transitioned from having a job you loved to being laid off
- You may have transitioned from working in the office to working at home
- You may have experienced a relationship ending due to the stress of working at home together while at the same time looking after young children
- You may have had time to reflect and realize that you want to make a bigger difference in the world
- You may be feeling exhausted and lack clarity on your next steps.
Imagine having practical tools and a proven process to support you to move through transitions in your life and work. One that supports you to move from anxiety and uncertainty toward clarity and fulfillment.
I believe that embracing change is a creative process that opens us up to new possibilities.
My 5-step “Art of Change Process” enables you to identify a change you are struggling with, understand how you respond to change and why, let go of beliefs, emotions and behaviors that are holding you back, envision the change you want to see and create an action plan to move forward.
The “Art of Change Process” can be applied to both your personal and work life and to teams if you are a leader. It enables you to move from resisting change to embracing it.
You may be thinking “I love change. I don’t resist it.” Yet if you peel back the layers and reflect on changes in your life, you may come to realize that many of the changes YOU initiated, so they felt easy to embrace. However, if you reflect on those changes that were imposed on you or initiated by someone else, you may find your experience is different; e.g. being “let go” from a job or having a partner leave you when you weren’t expecting it.
A key concept I have found helpful for myself and for clients has been understanding the difference between a life change and a transition.
William Bridges in his book “Transitions – Making Sense of Life Changes”[1] based on over 30 years of working with people and organizations, noted that a life change is external and situational such as divorce papers or a pink slip; something tangible that we can see. Whereas, a transition is internal and psychological; the internal work we do to reorient and readjust to our new external reality. Many of us do the change, but don’t do what I call the “transition journey” work.
Based on more than 25 years of consulting and coaching with individuals and organizations on 5 continents, the Art of Change framework is a proven model for embracing change whether it involves getting unstuck and moving forward when change is imposed on us, or whether we initiate an organizational or life change.
The Art of Change Framework is a 5-step process that uses the metaphor of life as a dance. The steps are:
- Shine the Light – Explore how you respond to change and why
- Choose Your Dance – Identify the transition you want to work on and where you are on your transition journey
- Feel the Rhythm and Learn the Steps – Commit to embracing change in your body rather than resisting it, and begin doing the work associated with the phase of the transition journey you are in
- Practice, Practice, Practice! – Do the work that includes letting go, identifying lessons learned, envisioning the work or organization of your dreams, taking action, and viewing change as a creative process that opens you up to new possibilities
- Consciously Share Your Dance with the World – Observe the positive changes in yourself, how others respond to you, and the positive impact you have on your family, friends, communities and workplaces.
If you’re intrigued to learn more, I invite you to sign up for my complimentary “Art of Change Framework” white paper that includes practical tips and tools at https://pamela-thompson.com.
I welcome your comments and strategies you’ve found helpful to embrace life transitions below.
[1] Bridges, William, Transitions – Making Sense of Life’s Changes. Da Capo Press, 2004
