Are you starting a new life chapter? Starting a new chapter in your life is similar to writing a chapter in a book. Both require courage, creativity, commitment, an openness to learning and growing, and time. Let’s explore the similarities.
Courage
It takes courage to end one chapter in your life and begin a new one. Even if a life transition is one you have chosen, it still requires courage to take that next step into the unknown, toward that life, relationship, business of your dreams.
A helpful framework to do this is the Art of Change Framework – https://pamela-thompson.com/how-to-navigate-change-from-the-inside-out-a-personal-journey/In this framework, there are three phases: an Ending, a Neutral Zone, and a New Beginning. Each phase has work associated with it and if we don’t do the work, we often keep repeating the same patterns in our lives, remaining unhappy and unfulfilled or choosing the next relationship or job based on the wrong reasons (e.g. that are out of alignment with our core values).
It also takes courage when starting to write a book. Which genre do I choose? What is my “why” for writing this book? What is my first step? It involves venturing into the unknown often without a clear plan and trusting that everything will work out.
Creativity
The work associated with the second phase of the Art of Change Framework is envisioning that life, relationship, work of your dreams. This is a time for creativity.
Likewise, when writing a book, as authors we depend on creative ideas surfacing. There are techniques we can use to enhance those possibilities such as creating a sacred space where we write and leaving “bread crumbs”[1] after each session so that we have a place to start when we next begin to write, instead of staring at a blank page.
Commitment
We need to be committed when we enter the New Beginning phase of a life transition to create a plan for moving forward toward that new life, relationship, business of our dreams.
Similarly, when writing a book, we need to allocate a certain amount of time each week to write, block that time off and follow through. It is also helpful; for example, to set a goal of writing 1,000 words each time we sit down to write. Some authors also find it beneficial to designate a certain amount of time to each writing session.
Openness to Learning and Growing
When starting a new chapter in our lives and writing a new chapter in a book, it is important to be open to learning and growing. Both processes require that we learn and grow. Similar, to a butterfly moving through the various stages from larva to chrysalis to beautiful, winged creature, we as humans transform through the process of embarking on or writing a new chapter.
Time
It takes time to move through the transition journey process and it takes time to write a book. Part of the process involves transforming, and healing, and we cannot force that process. That said we can commit to taking the time to write that next book or navigate that life transition.
Where are you in your transition journey? Are you writing a book or navigating a new life transition? I welcome your thoughts and questions below.
A dear friend of mine, Anita Adams – https://joyfulinspiredliving.com, has recently launched a new book “Whispers of the Soul”. In it she vulnerably shares her experience of a major transition, from founding and leading a national non-profit in the film industry in Canada for almost two decades, to shutting it down and becoming a leadership coach, podcast host, speaker and author. In her book, she eloquently shares her process and lessons learned and demonstrates courage, creativity, commitment, an openness to learning and growing and the recognition that it takes time to consciously move through a life transition.
Praised by early reviewers (including myself) as a treasure trove of inspiration, “Whispers of the Soul” caters to both novices and seasoned seekers alike. With its blend of personal anecdotes, profound insights, and thought-provoking exercises, it’s sure to ignite your curiosity and fuel your journey of self-exploration. Learn more and get your copy here: https://joyfulinspiredliving.com/books.
Aw! How I love Spring! The crocus’ appearing. Buds opening on the trees. Cherry blossoms lining the streets. Daffodils smiling and dancing in the breeze. All these signs from nature to me signify an opportunity for reflection, renewal, and for new beginnings.
We typically do spring cleaning this time of year. There is something so therapeutic about going through closets and your office and purging those things you no longer need, including clothes you’ve outgrown or that are no longer your style. Gifting them to a thrift shop or charity are a great way to fill yourself up.
How about thinking about spring cleaning “from the inside out”? Here are a few questions to reflect on and journal about.
What truly brings me joy? (e.g. activities, time in nature)
Who truly brings me joy?
What project, position, volunteer work no longer serves me?
What relationship(s) am I clinging to that no longer serve(s) me? Which friends do I really enjoy spending time with? Are there people I have drifted away from who I would like to reconnect with? Are there others who are no longer as close friends as before, yet who I still want in my life?
What steps am I committed to take to let go of that relationship, project, position that no longer serves me/brings me joy?
What new areas of focus do I want in my life?What new project do I crave to start? Do I want to take a painting class? Start writing that new book?
By going inside and listening to what your heart and gut tell you, you will know the answers to the questions above.
I encourage you to take some time to reflect on what really brings you joy. What things or people are you ready to let go of? And what new passions do you want to explore or focus on?
For me it is my third book which is an historical fiction novel with Afghanistan as the backdrop. My intention in writing the book is dispel some myths about Afghanistan, Afghans and Islam. I have a heartfelt connection to this country and its people having lived and worked there for a significant amount of time. I feel the pain of what is currently happening in the country, knowing that at one time Kabul was a cosmopolitan city which was like a giant garden and a place where women wore mini-skirts (Would you believe!).
I welcome your thoughts and comments below. There is so much we can learn from each another.
Are you in the “New Beginning” phase? Based on more than 30 thirty years working with people and organizations, William Bridges, an organizational theorist, identified that regardless of the transition you are going through there are three distinct phases: 1) an Ending; 2) a Neutral Zone; and 3) a New Beginning. He also discovered that there is work associated with each phase and if we don’t do the work, we often keep repeating the same patterns in our lives and remaining unhappy and unfilled.
Bridges differentiated between a life change and a transition; a change being something external and situational, something tangible such as a separation agreement or a pink slip. Whereas a transition is internal and psychological; the internal work we do to reorient, integrate and readjust to our new external reality.
I’ve gone through many transitions in my life and have been fortunate to have chosen many of them rather than having them imposed on me. That said, both types of transitions require time, introspection, and benefit from tools to support the process.
I will apply Bridge’s phases to the current transition I am in with the hope that they will be useful to you.
Phase 1: The Ending
In late September 2023, I handed over the leadership of Female Wave of Change Canada – https://fwoccanada.com, a national, member-based non-profit I incorporated in December 2020 with the aim to build the community and grow the Female Wave of Change – https://femalewaveofchange.com movement in Canada. It was truly a passion project. I felt so aligned with the mission, vision and values of this organization and of Ingun Bol the founder.
That said, within the third year I started to feel tired and that I wanted to open up space to do more creative work. I waited for the appropriate time (e.g. until the Board positions were filled with good people who worked well together). I was clear and announced to the Board in early May of 2023 that by the end of September at our next Annual General Meeting (AGM) I would be handing over the reins of leadership. Fortunately, two extremely capable, heart-centered women leaders came forward to Co-Lead the organization and officially became Co-Presidents at our AGM.
The work of the Ending phase is “letting go” and I added to Bridge’s model “identifying lessons learned”.
In this transition What did I let go of?
The status associated with being President of a vibrant and growing community
Regular connections with the Board
Regular connections with the Global Strategy Team
Co-creating monthly gatherings with featured guests
Certain Structure in my days and weeks.
What lessons did I learn?
When I listen to my body’s wisdom and follow it everything works
It takes time to move from the ending, through the neutral zone to the new beginning even when you have clarity on your next goal/vision
The biggest lesson I learned is that you need to integrate the New Beginning into your body; it can’t only be a goal/vision in your head. This takes time and some healing. It cannot be rushed.
I realized I was really tired but didn’t give myself time immediately after the handover to rest up. Instead, I planned and went on an amazing three-week adventure to Portugal with a dear friend. It was great to reward myself, and important to recognize that I needed to take time after to nourish myself, rather than starting my next project.
How many times have you ended something, had clarity on your next area of focus and yet were challenged to get started?
That was my experience. Even though I wanted to open space to do more creative work, in particular, to write my third book, I found it difficult to get started. The best thing I did was not to force myself to start writing that book until I felt ready. It’s taken a few months of truly listening to my body and sleeping nine, ten and eleven hours a night and a three-week vacation in Mexico with my Sweetie to finally feel like I am ready to begin.
I share this experience and these lessons with you as when you are a driven person often you check things off the list, set your new goal and begin the next project without taking a break or celebrating. However, we all need time to let go, identify and integrate the lessons learned, celebrate, and re-energize and nourish ourselves.
I hope you found this post useful and welcome your comments and questions below.
The American Heritage dictionary defines adrift as:
“1. Drifting or floating freely; not anchored
2. Without (clear) direction or purpose.”
Here’s how I’m feeling adrift. I’m sleeping more than 9 hours a night. I feel low energy, particularly in mid-afternoon. I’m feeling overwhelmed by the number of emails in my inbox even though I’ve unsubscribed to many and now have two less email addresses to deal with. I opened up space for more creative projects, and in spite of knowing what my next book in general will be about, I haven’t yet started writing it. Even though my phrase for this year is “Playful Creativity”, I’m being challenged to be playful or creative. My passion and zest for life seems to have gotten up and run away.
I’ve been coaching people going through a variety of life transitions individually and in groups since 2009. My inner critic is saying: “You teach people how to navigate life transitions and have a 5-step Art of Change Framework”, don’t you know how to navigate this transition with ease, grace and playfulness?”
You’ve likely heard the phrase, “we teach what we most need to learn”. As someone whose gone through many personal and professional transitions, I am STILL learning.
I recently handed over the leadership of a national non-profit I founded. It is now led by two amazing women leaders, and I feel like I did a good job handing it over. For example, I facilitated the strategic plan for the next three years with the Board, and the one-year operational plan for this year. I’ve worked collaboratively with my Board since launching the organization and left a very strong Board who work well together. I thought I was clear on the next steps in my personal and professional life, yet I am still feeling adrift.
Is anyone out there feeling similarly or have you in the past? If you are or have in the past, I welcome your thoughts and comments below.
In “Learning to Dance with Life”, I coined the term “Creative Living”. It is defined as “the conscious cultivation of improved health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace in your life (p. 35).” In today’s world of constant change and much conflict and strife globally, Creative Living is more important than ever. Having tools and strategies to ground us and help us respond from a place of inner peace and understanding rather than conflict and reactivity, is so needed.
I also identified seven keys to Creative Living which I believe continue to be important to help us prevent and heal from burnout, and live a life of radiant health, happiness, fulfillment, and inner peace. The seven keys are:
Listen to and trust in your body’s wisdom
Tap into and express your creative side
Consciously create right and left brain-body balance
Live in alignment with your core values
Believe that you are here to make a difference
Learn from and embrace life transitions
Find inner peace, and build peace in your family, friends, community, workplace … the world.
There is also now more documented evidence supporting each of the seven keys.
Based on some feedback I received in the past, I’m not certain that some people understood that Creative Living and the seven keys associated with it, supported me and others to heal from burnout. I know for certain that integrating these seven keys and the proven strategies and powerful practices associated with them, together, have enabled me to heal from the inside out and to live a life of improved health, happiness, fulfillment, and inner peace.
In the book, I identify seven elements of Creative Living. They are:
Body wisdom
Creativity
Balance
Core Values
Beliefs
Life Transitions
Inner Peace.
“The elements may be likened to seeds that germinate when nourished with sufficient water, food, and warmth. The “work that we do around each seed, enables us to cultivate a unique garden of health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace (p. 36).” I stand by this statement and am living proof of it.
How about you? Do you relate to all or any of the seven keys and elements above? I welcome your thoughts and experiences below.
