How do YOU make decisions?

How do YOU make decisions?

When you have an important decision to make, how do you usually approach it? If you’re anything like me, I used to do the pros and cons list and make a logical left-brain decision. Some years ago, I began reflecting on my life and realized that the decisions I’ve made from my heart or my gut have always been the right ones for me, resulting in positive life experiences. When the decisions came solely from my head and my logical left-brain (using a pros and cons list), the results were not so good.

During the past 15 years or so I have become consciously aware of how important it is to listen to my body, how to do it and how to trust in the messages it sends me.

Did you know that our gut and our heart have nerve endings that send signals to our brains? So when we say that our gut or heart is telling us something, there is scientific evidence this is so

How can you access, listen to and trust in your body’s wisdom and the messages it sends you? Here’s a process I use and teach my clients.

Think about a decision you would like assistance in making. Get comfortable, close your eyes, take several deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Then continue to breathe normally in and out through your nose. Feel your feet and imagine deep roots coming out of the bottom of them and reaching deep down into Mother Earth. Then imagine branches growing from your shoulders and head that reach up to the sky and tap into the beautiful Source Energy/God/Universal Energy (whatever you choose to call it). Feel that light coming in through the top of your head and bathing your entire body. Now that you are grounded and connected with earth and sky/heavens, ask the question that you would like clarity on. It could be, Should I apply for that new position? Should I start my own business? Continue to breathe deeply and notice if any answers come up for you.

Some people experience a sense of knowing, others receive an auditory message, still others see a vision of someone speaking to them, or an object that is a metaphor or a sign of what is in their best interest or for the highest good.

This takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and learn to trust the process and your body’s wisdom. You may find it easier to start with smaller decisions that don’t involve much change in your life: Should I call up my friend today? Often when you follow your heart or gut and call up a friend, they will say to you, “We must have ESP!” or, “I was just thinking of you and about to give you a call.” It’s like a muscle: the more you use your body’s wisdom, the easier it will become and in time you will make decisions that you trust are the right ones for you.

Some people find that initially no answer comes to them. If you find that to be the case, don’t beat yourself up. Rather, ask throughout the day for a sign that provides you with the answer. Let go and get on with your day and notice that at some time when you’re not thinking about it, the answer may come to you and you will know what action to take.

Another suggestion is to ask a question just before you go to sleep and also ask that you receive the answer on awakening. It’s helpful to keep a pen and paper by your bed in case things come to you during the night or on awakening. *

I invite you to experiment with the process above. I’d love to hear your experiences and welcome your comments below. Feel free to share the process with others.

* Part of this post is an excerpt from my book Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women. Stay tuned for the launch date!

How Are You Living Your Life?

How Are You Living Your Life?


One of my friends died recently. He wasn’t a close friend but he had dated a dear friend of mine. His celebration of life was the most touching, positive and memorable celebration of life I’ve ever attended. Experiencing someone’s death, who is close to my own in age, certainly put me in touch with my own mortality and my recent way of living in the world. I realized that lately I have be setting goals and driving myself to achieve them. I have been focusing on “externals” rather than awakening and asking myself what do I really want to do today? What would make my soul sing? (and then doing it)

Yesterday (Sunday) I asked myself what do I really want to do? I ended up attending the local Centre for Spiritual Living. After that I browsed in a bookstore and bought one book of interest. Then I went for a long walk along the waterfront close to where I live (photo insert) and “drank” in the natural beauty. I felt like an ice cream so I treated myself to one and savored each lick as I sat in the soothing autumn sun. On return home I phoned my son and his new wife and one of my sisters and had great chats with all of them. I returned the message of a dear friend and we set up a lunch date for this Friday. I made dinner for my Sweetie and took time to decorate the table and light two candles. We each make a wish at the end of the meal and blow them out (which is a ritual in our home).

When I put my head on the pillow last night I felt that I had lived the day being in the moment and doing what I truly wanted to do. I felt so grateful, contented and relaxed. … I realize that during the week we often have to set goals and have activities to complete whether we’re working for ourselves or for others. That said there are things we CAN do each day to positively affect our experiences and enrich our lives.

Here are a few suggestions:

1)   Before you get out of bed in the morning think of at least one thing that would bring you joy to do that day (if you can think of 3 or 4 even better!). Commit to doing that/those things and notice how you feel during and after them.

2)   Try to be totally present with each person you interact with and notice something special about them. Share that positive attribute with them if you feel comfortable doing so.

3)   Carve some time out of your day to go for a walk/spend some time in nature and notice how it makes you feel.

4)   Think of one thing you’d like to do for someone close to you that demonstrates how special they are and do it (e.g. write them a note, a poem, send them flowers … )

5)   Reflect on your day before you lay your head on the pillow. Notice how you feel. You may also wish to journal about your thoughts or record them in your phone.

6)   Try integrating the above activities into your life on a regular basis and notice the difference J

Do you find that you are constantly driving yourself to achieve external goals? Do you rarely take time to do something you really love? Feel free to share your thoughts and strategies you have found helpful to integrate “things you love to do” into your day.