Two months ago, I felt like my life was turned upside down. My partner, Alan, was headhunted and offered a position in another city. When he received the “hard” offer, they wanted him to start in 2 weeks! I’ve moved and gone through many changes in my life; however, this particular one that came “out of nowhere” really shook my foundations. I felt discombobulated for a couple of weeks. Alan and I had moved to the beautiful Okanagan Valley almost 8 years ago for lifestyle, and we thought we’d be here forever. Now, that might not be the case.
How many times have you envisioned that you were “settled”; that no other changes were going to happen in your life? I coach clients how to deal with life changes with “ease and grace”, and here I was going through one and experiencing a fair bit of turmoil!
So what was the silver lining in this change?
1) It made me reflect on what is most important to me in life. I realize and have known for some time that relationships and connection are most important. Being in nature and close to water also help ground me. I appreciate the beauty in nature.
2) It created an opportunity for me to go through my material possessions and decide which ones to keep, sell, discard or give away. After sorting through many of my clothes last weekend [and I have quite a collection ☺], as well as courses I’ve designed and reports I’ve written, I felt lighter and reconnected with my belief that “stuff” isn’t what is most important to me. Rather it is the people and special relationships in my life.
3) It opened me up to new adventures and possibilities.
What helped me regain my balance and get clear on what is most important?
1) Spending time in nature. Going for regular walks and taking the time to reflect and “be” rather than “do”.
2) Meditating daily and asking for guidance.
3) Sharing the news with family and close friends and realizing I will stay connected to them regardless of where I live.
4) Viewing the potential move as a new adventure; an opportunity to make new friends and be open to new possibilities.
5) Communicating openly with Alan and envisioning what is important to us in a place to live and during this time of transition. Sharing what we would like in our “new” life together.
How have you regained balance in your life when a change “caught you off guard”? Please share your thoughts and comments below. Feel free to share this post with others.
I fell in love with a guy just over 2 years ago. He had just lost his father and then broken up with his long term partner. I really doted on him so much. He then got back into a relationship with his ex partner and it completely broke me. I was devastated. I thought it was what I wanted. But when it ended I knew I wanted to go to paris so I booked to go away alone for a few days. I started living to make myself happy. I love art and architecture and history and I’m fascinated by different cultures too. Had me and him ever had been anything more I’d have felt trapped and unhappy. In reality it wasn’t what I wanted . I don’t regret it for one second. It was supposed to happen. He had lost his dad amd parted with his life long partner and I’m happy I was able to be of support for him though a tough time. Having done this for him and then him leaving is what made me start to do the things I need to do for me. I’m now filling up my passport and doing what I love. A wonderful silver lining x
Hi Mikki, Thanks for sharing your vulnerability, experience and insights related to one of “life’s lessons”. Happy you connected with the post. Hugs, Pam
I’ve been caught off guard so many times 🙂 One thing I’ve learned is the only constant is change. One thing that surprises me is that the home I bought in 2003 was supposed to be my “temporary home.” Temporary has turned into 13 wonderful years. Where will you be moving?
Hi Peggy, So true that “the only constant is change”. Thanks for sharing your experience and words of wisdom. … I’ll be moving to beautiful Victoria, BC.
Hi Pam, Lovely post – thank you for sharing how you rode that wave of change and walked your talk as a coach as well. I’ve been thrown for a loop many times and I have come to understand the gifts even in what seem like a tough experience. May we all experience only delightful changes in the future! xo
Hi Reba, Thanks for your positive feedback and for sharing your thoughts. “May we all experience only delightful changes in the future!” 🙂
Getting caught off guard always seems to be some sort of test. I love your last point, “Communicating openly with Alan and envisioning what is important …” I think communication is so important and often overlooked in these moments. I always find it comforting to express my unease and then co-create solutions and a shared vision. I hope you are enjoying your new home!
So true Melissa! Communicating openly and sharing together with someone you care about during these times is indeed supportive and comforting. … Thanks for your warm wishes!
I love your re-frame of the situation from fear into possibility. I have been there many times myself. My new trick is to write a gratitude list of positives about the situation, which I recently did when I was summoned for jury duty. Thanks for sharing your experience Pam!
Happy you found the re-frame helpful Lisa. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the gratitude list of positives. Love it!
Whenever I’m caught off guard, my first instinct is to go into worry mode about all the “what-ifs”. I love your idea about creating a gratitude list for the possibilities. It gives me something positive to think about & look forward to. What a great mental reframe exercise! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Hi Tae Lynne,
It’s true so many of us instinctually think of the “what-ifs” which are often negative, when we’re caught off guard. Happy you found the gratitude list for the possibilities helpful. Let me know how it works for you! Warm Regards, Pam